Monkey dreams

Not sure where it came from. Might have been from the Tarzan movie, but when I was a child all I really ever wanted was a monkey. Not a puppy, not a cat. A monkey.

I always imagined I would dress it in jeans overalls and a small T-shirt and walk it around the neighborhood holding its monkey hand.

Needless to say, that never happened. So I gave up on my monkey dream.

Once I realized Kathmandu is full of monkeys, my monkey dream was again awoken. I was so excited to go to the Monkey temple where monkeys roam around freely and are not afraid of humans. But then someone spoiled the whole thing telling me monkeys are actually quite aggressive and dangerous.

I got so freaked out that I no longer wanted to see monkeys outside of the cages. At the monkey temple, I kept looking over my shoulder and ducking when birds would fly over me thinking it’s a full monkey attack. I was somewhat relieved to see there were people there, and they are not being attacked, but still I kept my eyes wide open.

One thing about these monkeys is they are big. They are not cute little creatures you see in Hollywood comedies. No, no, these are some big pieces of monkey ass. And they look mean too, walking around claiming their space. You can see them if you go to certain parts of town, like Monkey temple area, or sometimes you can spot them jumping around telephone poles.

Momo: My new favorite food

MOMO! How could I possibly forget that mouthwatering food of gods!? Just thinking about it makes my stomach growl and my lips smack in delight. Often times I have dreams of lying on a cloud surrounded by endless supply of momo. OK, ok, that's a little bit out there, but the point is:

I LOVE MOMOS.

Say whaaaaat? You don’t know what momo is? Apparently there is this land where they take pasta dough, roll it out thin, fill it with perfectly spiced meat or veggies, and then close it up like neat little packets. And then they steam it! And it comes out to be this amazing steaming hot, spicy and juicy concoction that is then dipped in equally wonderful sauces and eaten in one bite.

Here’s a little less amateurish description of this amazing and very popular Nepali snack. The dough for momos is quite simple and is made of water and flour, possibly with a tiny bit of salt, and sometimes a bit of yeast. It’s rolled out thin and cut into circles that are then filled with a variety of different fillings. Meat ones could be made from minced pork, chicken, goat, or buffalo, garlic, ginger and a bunch of other spices. Veggie version is usually made of potatoes or cabbage.

Anyways, to make momo shape, circles are closed into half-moon dumplings, or little round packages. Nepali people are very skilled at making the edge all nice and decorative. Very impressive. Momos are then steamed over a boiling pot of water or stock, and served with chili sauce.

When in Nepal, or a Nepali restaurant, absolutely and without hesitation order yourself a plate of momos. And Happy momoing!

Load shedding. Say, whaaat?

Load shedding. Sounds very sophisticated. Something from a specialty book you are unlikely to understand. But in simple words is just that: blackout. No electricity. Electricity companies sheds the load off of the electricity grid. And how do they do that? It’s very simple – they shut off electricity to parts of the city. Such is life in Nepal. You know that talk about the right to basic infrastructure that’s often given in the West? Yeah, you can forget about that in Nepal. Here, the first thing you ought to do is buy some candles. Always, always have candles in the house. And matches. Or a lighter. Otherwise candles really don’t make any sense, now do they? Notice that candles will be your last resort when other lights fail to light-up your world. After that, stock up  with a whole bunch of light-producing devices, either electrically charged or run by batteries. Always keep them charged. Keep your cellphone charged. Given it has a flash-light. Your house should also have a big battery, popularly referred to as the inverter. This bad boy gets charged when there is electricity, and then happily provides you light when the electricity company decides to shed the load in your neighborhood. Useful little things. Generators are also ruining the environment tremendously and adding to already unbelievable amount of pollution in Kathmandu.

So what do you do when you have a load shedding even in the posh hotel you stay in?


First and foremost, take a romantic shower. Yes, shower in the candlelight. And it would be romantic if it wasn’t sad, actually. Read. Stare at the wall. And, yes, play cell phone games. There is nothing else to do when there is no light. And yes, learn to walk around the room in the dark.

As daunting as it may sound, it’s actually not that bad. Somehow you get used to it fairly quickly. Or maybe I’m just saying it to make myself feel better.

You goat to be kidding me

It’s common to many Asian countries. You see it on TV. You read about it on other people’s blogs. But when you witness it with your own eyes, only then you realize how ridiculously funny it is. I’m talking about people transporting all kinds of crazy, odd and huge stuff on their motorbikes. They zoom by before I ever manage to snap a photo. But believe me when I tell you – sometimes I spend days pondering how they get it on the bike and how, in the world, they manage to drive.

Most of these stunts include two guys: one driving and one sitting in the back struggling with the whatever odd object it is they are transporting. The front guy pretends as if absolutely nothing strange is going on behind his back and drives as usual. The guy in the back, however, tries very hard to display the same indifference, acting all cool, but in reality, he is scared, concerned and embarrassed at the same time. You can tell from panic glances he gives to passing vehicles.

So what have I seen so far, you wonder!? Let me list it out in less-to-more-crazy order:

10. A suitcase – now this is not your small take-on-the-plane suitcase. No, this is the real deal; at least 30kg monster which usually sits on the lap of the girl on the back of the bike. She struggles to hold the suitcase and herself, and I always imagine her legs going numb.

9. chicken – most of the bikes in Kathmandu have metal rods in the front that protect driver’s legs from being hit or squished by something. I have seen those metal rods sporting several dead chicken hung by their legs, just dangling casually as the wind ruffles their feathers.

8. Mirror – it might not seem odd at first, but when you realize the guy in the back holding the mirror spends the whole ride looking at himself, it becomes darn hilarious.

7. A goat – or any live animal for that matter – it’s just plain odd and dangerous. Trust me, it’s nothing like the sight of Paris Hilton with her Chihuahua in her purse. This is more like a semi-wild animal ready to jump off the moving bike at any given moment, and person struggling to keep the bike straight and hugging the animal real tight at the same time. Nothing cute or romantic there.

6. Bricks and a variety of building material (insert whatever you fancy here – I’m sure anything and everything applies) – I have absolutely no comment here. Imagine the sight of someone transporting a bunch of bricks on a bike.

5. Ladder – big, metal, real deal ladder. Front guy driving, back guy holding the ladder on his shoulder. No red flags or orange triangles in the front or in the back of the ladder that is twice the length of the motorbike. Those have been used earlier to decorate the trucks.

4. Satellite dish – it’s like carrying a plate, just bigger. Definitely not. Hell no.

3. Big jugs of water – one tied up in the back of the bike, the other one sitting freely in drivers lap. I have no idea how that guy maneuvers.

2. Mattress – imagine the problems with this one: if the bike is going to slow the mattress keeps on falling on the driver. If the bike is going to fast, the guy in the back flies off the bike together with the beloved mattress.

1. Gas cylinder – this one is self-explanatory – not only it’s heavy, dangerous and difficult to handle, imagine what would happen if it rolled off!

Is that saying what I think is saying?

When in Nepal, you simply cannot miss all the funny lines on vehicles. Most of the time they make absolutely no sense and you cannot but wonder what was in the head of the person who chose to put it on there. Is it something they saw on TV? Or maybe something they heard on the radio? Or did some joker tourist decide to play a little prank on the driver?

In any case, some of the stuff you can see are downright hilarious and I often find myself laughing about them.

Here’s my collection of best-of-the-best (copied as seen, together with the spelling mistakes):


1. Don't touch me (aww, I wouldn't worry about that)

2. Love you – (Sure, I love you too…)

3. Girls R Like Medicine – (I am assuming, take three daily, one every eight hours?)

4. Car Google – (Huh?)

5. Love is true – (That's pretty deep for a car sign)

6. Love is dead (This one fills me with sadness)

7. Road Star (no modesty here, for sure)

8. Need for speed – (I know which taxi I’m not getting in)

9. Drive is no joke – (no sir, it certainly isn’t, yet I don’t see you being serious about it)

10. It’s my style – (and you bragging about it?)

11. Trust is wekness – (So is your spelling, as this one reminded me of the "No regrats" from "We are the Millers")

And a personal favorite for the end:

No time for love!

I thought Dhaka was hilarious, but you can find plenty of humor here in Kathmandu as well!